Category: Mindset/Awareness

How I stumbled upon Stoicism and the Indescribable Impact it’s had on my Life

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Since graduating from college in 2012, I’ve taken a deep interest in reading.

At first I dug into biographies, interviews and strategies of successful people. I figured if I could learn a thing or two from them, I’d be able to implement it into my businesses in some way.

Back then that was my sole motive, simply how to make more money. There wasn’t much more thought or awareness outside of that objective.

As time slowly went on, I began taking an interest in the psychology behind happiness and how one can put themselves in a position to become as happy in life as possible.

Money was still my number one priority, but subconsciously I was searching for something more.

Most of the books I attempted to read were over my head, maybe that’s because of where I currently was at the time in my life or maybe they were just too technical and not what I was looking for.

Then in late 2016, everything changed.

I discovered Stoicism.

For some reason, this ancient Greek philosophy gets a really bad rap.

Google defines Stoicism as “the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.”

Yikes, but stay with me here.

Directly from an article on www.dailystoic.com, I believe this description gets to the core of what the philosophy is truly about.

“Stoicism has just a few central teachings. It sets out to remind us of how unpredictable the world can be. How brief our moment of life is. How to be steadfast, and strong, and in control of yourself. And finally, that the source of our dissatisfaction lies in our impulsive dependency on our reflexive senses rather than logic.”

So there I was in December of 2016, reading William B Irvine’s masterpiece, A Good to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy (and of course taking notes as I went).

It didn’t take very long for these ancient concepts and ideas to awaken a part of my soul I never knew existed before. Since then I find myself almost on a daily basis and sometimes more than once per day instinctively utilizing the Stoic teachings that I learned from that one book.

The positive and life-changing impact that Stoicism has had on my life, both personally and professionally cannot be measured or described in words.

Suffice to say, making money my primary focus in life evaporated into thin air and I’ve never been more happy, grateful and fulfilled ever since.

I’ve tried to spread these special secrets of life to those I surround myself around, but sharing these insights with just a handful of people close to me is no longer enough. I’m here to enlighten you and everyone that you love and care about as well.

You’ll uncover simple tactics to reduce stress, anger, and anxiety, while quickly accelerating your levels of happiness, appreciation and gratitude.

I’m excited to take you on this journey with me.

“To have whatsoever he wishes is in no man’s power. It is in every man’s power not to wish for what he has not, but cheerfully to employ what comes to him.” – Seneca

“To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.”  – Marcus Aurelius

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Discovering the Burning Desire Within to Not Accept Defeat

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When we were little kids, our imaginations had no boundaries, no limits. We could envision navigating a spaceship underneath the blankets on our beds, or sailing the seas inside of a pirate ship.

As we grow up innocence fades away and for most of us, reality begins to settle in.

Our dreams and imagination from long ago get pushed to the side while we focus on what we’ve been programmed and conditioned to think and believe.

Get a job (and work for the next 30-50 years), get married, get a house, have kids, etc.

But inside, deep within, whether you can still feel it or not, a burning desire remains ablaze.

A desire to fulfill and achieve certain aspirations.

F the BS: Let’s rediscover your burning desire from within!

I recently began reading a book that was written all the way back in 1937 called Think and Grow Rich (to date the book has sold more than 100 million copies!)

The author, Napoleon Hill, discusses the idea that if you want something bad enough, you must be so determined to obtain it (sometimes to the brink of obsession) that at some point you convince yourself with full certainty that you’ll possess it.

Almost 7 years ago, right after graduating from college my burning desire was put to the test (definitely not for the first time).

Looking back at it today through reflection, this specific situation had a tremendous effect on the trajectory and path of my life as well as my brain’s wiring that back then in that moment I obviously had no clue about its potential significance.

I had taken a unique approach to finding a way to make some money, as well as simultaneously gaining first hand experience in the internet marketing world.

Unfortunately, I was faced with rejection.

A real blow to the gut.

Thinking about that day, I vividly remember sitting at the dinner table on my laptop in the house I grew up in. I had read the message and immediately skyped my business partner to tell him the bad news.

During that crucial moment of defeat (temporary of course as all defeat is temporary!), we had a very important decision to make.

Instead of throwing in the towel and soaking in our failure of not being able to close our first client, we let our burning desire, determination and imagination take over. We decided with all of our might that we simply wouldn’t accept defeat. That there was no possible way of taking NO for an answer.

Our like minded brains reacted with the logic of, if we can’t retain this client the way we best thought we could, let’s look at things from another angle and find a way to secure his business through how he would best see it fit.

And it worked.

That experience, from rejection to being able to work around the bump in the road, to actually working for the client and gaining the necessary skills to work in internet business, was paramount to allowing me to put my first steps forward to commence the paving of the path for where I’ve eventually come to today.

The concept of simply not accepting defeat paired with actually going through with using it almost seven years ago to the day (and building up the confidence to continue to use it), has compounded and paid out it in dividends throughout my life (both personally and professionally) that I never would have imagined back then.

The lesson that I hope you can learn from this story is that life is all about perception. You can’t let defeat or a minor setback prevent you from going after your lifelong dreams.

Never let that burning desire from within fade away. Dive into your inner childlike imagination and use your determination to go after your ambitions. More likely than not, once you do, you’ve already won half the battle. Your goals are only an arm length away at best.

“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” – Napoleon Hill

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How Reflecting Can Elevate Your Life to the Next Level

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Social media paired with the evolution of cell phones has significantly hindered our ability to live in the present moment. It’s made it near impossible to simply just take a few moments out of our day to sit with our own thoughts.

When was the last time you were bored, like really bored? Remember what it was like (anybody born before the mid 90s) to actually be bored?!?

The average attention span of an adult in today’s society (per a few different articles that I came across) is around 8 seconds. Apparently a goldfish has a longer attention span (around 9 seconds) than us these days.

Over the years there’s been a wave of different apps that have come out, as well as more content focusing on improving your life and mental focus through activities such as yoga, guided meditation, brain games and so on.

But do these methods really work?

Have you ever really stuck with a meditation app for more than a few weeks (if that) consistently?

More likely than not, the answer for the large majority of people is no.

Luckily, there’s a better way (although, I am a huge proponent of yoga, meditation and brain games :D)

Enter the secret power of reflection. 

Through reflection you can gain all that you may be seeking. From reducing stress, feeling more fulfilled and being more appreciative of your life, to increasing your ability to focus while simultaneously coming to a realization on what’s most important in the present for yourself as well as in the very near future.

F THE BS: It’s time to elevate your life to the next level

So how does it work?

There’s no one size fits all approach to tapping into your reflecting potential. Personally, I would say once a week, maybe even once every other week, I intentionally set aside time to do nothing more than sit alone in a calm environment with just my thoughts.

Quick and obvious disclaimer: Just like anything worth doing/having in life, if you don’t allocate the time necessary to reflect, or don’t make a serious and conscious effort to incorporate the exercise into your habits, you’ll never get the chance to enjoy the incredible impact that it could have on your life. 

The amount of time you spend doing this is totally up to you. You can always start small and grow from there. Heck, sometimes my most profound discoveries come to me within the first few moments of reflecting.

So what really happens when you reflect?

Taking the time to just sit with your thoughts is a major accomplishment that you should be very proud of implementing into your life (remember our friend the goldfish who’s attention span beats ours?).

When you sit quietly with your thoughts (relaxing your facial features as well as your shoulders and the rest of your body), without judging them, you begin to open the eye of your mind. Similar to when you shower or the few minutes before you fall asleep (the moments when social media and your phone are not in use, ironic or not?) thoughts on top of thoughts fill your head. It’s like a never ending train track that’s paved with one thought after the other, sometimes related to stress while other times completely random.

If you can endure this initial phase when reflecting, and take a step back in your mind from “being” these thoughts and instead begin to “watch” them, your trail of thought will start to slow down. You’ll be able to begin seeing the forest for the trees.

When you achieve this state of mind (it’s not that hard, it just takes a little bit of practice, persistence and consistency), you’ll discover and connect certain dots together that you might’ve never connected before (or even come up with the idea or thought of connecting).

I cannot stress enough how vital this tool has been for me throughout the last few years of my life. It’s a groundbreaking and revolutionary strategy (at least it has been for me!) that can take you deep into your subconscious mind and allow you to extract thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions, experiences, and ideas and bring them to the surface, to your conscious state.

With this newfound ability you’ll inevitably gain invaluable insights that will elevate and accentuate your life for the better, while organically discovering ways to see and handle all of life’s situations more clearly.

“Time and reflection change the sight little by little ’till we come to understand.” – Paul Cezanne

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How to SLOW DOWN and Take Control in Today’s Busy World

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Have you ever been so deep in thought that you end up completely forgetting what you were just thinking about? Then, in an attempt to remember what you were pondering over, you try to backtrack your way through the web of thoughts to come back to your original idea?

For the average person, our mind (a lot of the time subconsciously) rules our day. It’s an everlasting machine being run 24/7, a thought producing engine without an OFF switch.

It’s said (from the internet, so take it with a grain of salt) that we have up to 50,000 thoughts per day. FIFTY THOUSAND. From that amount, an overly large percentage are said to be the same thoughts as we had the day before.

Why are we thinking so much, and better yet, why so quickly?

Over the years I’ve dabbled into mindfulness meditation, which is pretty much defined as a process of being consciously aware of the experiences occurring within the present moment.

Meditation is a technique that can take a lifetime to really master (maybe a few lifetimes!). What I’ve learned and discovered through this mental state (and I’m by no means an expert) is that your inner self can take a step back from your mind and watch your chain of thoughts come and go as they please without any judgement.

It’s sad to think, but most people don’t ever take the time to sit back and realize their thought processes.

They go about their day thinking and reacting to the beat of how their mind decides to play it’s own drum.

They don’t realize that they themselves are actually totally separate from their own mind.

They allow their mind to be in control, rather than being in control of their mind. 

The brain is a fascinating thing when you really think about it, and in a way it’s almost impossible to wrap our heads around It (no pun intended!).

But all kidding aside, what if I told you that you could take control of your thoughts and reactions and slow down the number of thoughts (mostly repeated thoughts) that your mind machine produces on a daily basis?

How much calmer and more relaxed do you think your day would be if you were able to cut the amount of thoughts you have each day in half, or be able to not react as strongly and emotional to certain situations as they arise out of the blue?

The concept and strategy is quite simple.

1 – The next time you feel like your thoughts are racing through your head in high gear, notice the way your body feels. More likely than not, you’re tense. Relax your facial expressions and your shoulders (how you feel externally can really help to match how you feel internally). Maybe even put on a smile.

2 – Take a few deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

3 – Now try to sit back (inside your own head) and watch your thoughts flow, just how you’d watch waves at the beach rise and fall. Don’t judge them or be hard on yourself, just let them be and exist.

4 – Repeat this process each and every time you feel overwhelmed or strong emotions come about.

Over time, if practiced diligently, you will start to recognize your own thinking patterns, as well as pinpoint what events trigger certain reactions. You’ll begin to tap into the methods of how your mind machine operates and slowly be able to take over the reins of how you think and react to all situations.

With these few basic strategies in your arsenal, you’ll be able to take control of your mind and direct it to do as you say so, not the other way around.

“A mind that is fast is sick. A mind that is slow is sound. A mind that is still is divine.” – Meher Baba

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Why the American Mindset is WRONG

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Whether you like it or not, the majority of Americans have a flawed mindset towards life.

We grow up with the hopes and aspirations of being successful, which most of the time “success” is defined and quantified by how much money you make, the size of your house and what car you drive.

In addition, the way others view you or the perception of how you want others to view you seems to be just as important as the actual success itself.

Deep down into our core, these few factors are what typically drives us each and every day.

We work long and hard for days, weeks, months, years upon years at a time to attempt to achieve some marginal success, some “happiness”.

Whether that success to you is to lease a BMW that you can’t afford to project the image of success to those around you, or to buy a material item that months down the road won’t give you the same sense of feeling you got when you first bought it.

We associate material items with success, which we hope will bring us happiness. As at the end of the day happiness is all of our ultimate goals whether we realize it or not.

At a certain point in life (typically sooner than later), having this mantra equals out to a really fucked up way of living.

F the BS: It’s time to recalibrate! 

Take Europe for example. I’m not a world traveler (yet), but I’ve spent a decent amount of time in a handful of western European countries to get a true feel and sense for how the average person lives their life.

And I hate to break it to you, but “success” and material items are not a top priority for Europeans, not by a long shot.

Simply being out in the open, enjoying the present moment and the scenery, with friends and family over tea, coffee, wine, beer, some lunch…this is their ultimate goal and priority and what brings them happiness.

While we as Americans put all of our focus, efforts and energy into working to make more and more money to buy more and more bullshit consumer products, as well as the next new thing that we don’t need and won’t ever bring us long term happiness, most Euros seem to keep it simple and take advantage of the small moments and things in life.

Now let me disclose that I’m sure it’s not like this for ALL Europeans. And undoubtedly, they may have similar financial stresses and overall life problems like us, but the key difference that literally changes everything is that they live in a society where working and money simply aren’t No.1 or even No.2 in their mental list of what’s most important in life. They put friends and family first, and push to the side the bullshit of everything else (fancy cars, the latest technology gadgets, big homes, etc, etc).

Before I wrap this up, just think for a moment about what you may be LOSING by making your current definition of success your top priority.

We only have so much time on this planet to live, love and breathe.

Do what needs to be done to make the true priorities in life your top ones. It won’t be easy, and it may take years to accomplish but you only have one life to live so make it worth it.

I’ll leave you with this story that gets me every time…

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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