From the day to day hustle and bustle of work, to dealing with your children (and/or family members and close friends in general), to paying bills, to hearing all of the negative stories on the news, life can be STRESSFUL.
In fact, roughly 40 million American adults (about 18% of the entire population) have some kind of an anxiety disorder, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
Yet, as if our stress and anxiety levels aren’t high enough, people find ways to increase them even more by being a “Yes person”.
We all know this type of person too well (and in some cases, it may even be you!).
They overcommit and stretch themselves too thin. They lose sleep, get sick and can never find the time to focus on and take care of themselves, all because they instantly react rather than take the time to pause and think first.
F the BS: It’s time to stop saying YES and tap into the benefits of saying NO
In order to switch from a yes person to a no person, you must first understand the psychology behind that of a yes-man (or woman).
Most yes people have a mindset that seeks external validation. The majority of their confidence and self-esteem are directly correlated and tied to what others think.
Simply put, they care way too much about what people think about them and subconsciously base their decisions and reactions off of the ideas of what someone else may think.
To an extent they say Yes as a way to gain approval, as well as a method to purposely avoid confrontation and the feelings of negativity.
By craving approval from the outside and letting these unconscious concepts dictate their lives, they sadly miss the mark of where they should really be looking for any and every form of validation, which is on the inside.
Through the power of reflection (diving deep into past experiences, decisions and reactions) as well as leveraging the remarkable abilities of the mind (neuroplasticity), one can discover and pinpoint specific situations where external validation is sought out, take a mental note of it and work on improving and rewiring the brain into realizing that the only affirmation needed is from within.
With this revelation unearthed, you can direct your attention to the benefits of saying No.
Through discipline this tool can change your life.
Saying No allows you to take control. To be able to prioritize and focus on what’s most important for you and your own well-being. (This isn’t being selfish, this is something that is necessary).
Obvious Disclaimer: Outside of those simply trying to suck away your time and energy, when it comes to family and close friends that genuinely need your help, this should always be a priority and something that you say Yes to.
The next time someone asks you for something, pause before responding. Tell them that you need to ponder it over or that you must give it deeper thought. After careful consideration, if you ultimately decide that it doesn’t align with your goals, say NO.
Whether you believe it or not, you’ll actually gain more respect by consciously choosing the route of saying No.
In life you must turn down good opportunities, so that you can have the time to pursue great ones.
So stop apologizing and caring about other people’s opinions and expectations. Stop allowing others to always depend on and take advantage of you. Stop saying Yes to everything!
“Sometimes, we need to say no so that we have more time to say yes.” – Suzette Hinton